KINSHIP OVERVIEW: SOCIAL BEHAVIOR, PATHOLOGY, AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
Kinship is the primary organizing principle in human relations; it is a multidisciplinary and versatile construct that focuses on modes of CLASSIFICATION and NAMING in genetic relationships, marriage, friendships, alliances, and social relations in general (Bailey, 1987). Fox (1975, 1979) says that all societies CLASSIFY KIN, a process that he views as a species-typical, universal attribute.
The use of kinship categories is flexible in humans, however, and is highly attuned to environmental and cultural contingencies. Sociobiologists have focused on the bioevolutionary aspects of kinship classification whereby a given organism somehow "RECOGNIZES" the degree to which it shares genes with other members of its species (see Hepper, 1990). According to sociobiologists, an organism will tend to be more "altruistic" and less aggressive toward "close kin" with whom it shares a relatively large number of genes (see Daly, Salmon, & Wilson, 1997).
More traditional anthropological definitions of kinship emphasize blood relationship, geneology and lineage, gender roles and marriage rules, rules of social exchange, and shared cultural symbols (Freeman, 1974). Underlying all these notions, however, is the issue of WHO is kin- namely, the problem of CLASSIFICATION (Bailey & Wood, 1993; Wood, 1995).
At base, kinship is the product of a process of classification that typically occurs unconsciously or with minimal conscious effort. The most primitive form of classification is us versus them whereby a given individual, tribe, society, or culture distinguishes between the in-group and the out-group (Bailey, 1999). Once one is categorized as within the in-group, then he or she is then classified as being CLOSER (e. g., brother, sister, mother, father, husband, or wife) or FARTHER from the classifier (e. g., distant in-laws, cousins, and various nonrelatives).
HOW WE CLASSIFY AND CATEGORIZE OTHERS DETERMINES, IN LARGE MEASURE, HOW WE RESPOND TO THEM. Do we get a warm, hedonic feeling in a certain person's presence, or do we feel anxious, insecure, and ill at ease? Or, at the extreme, do we hate this person, fear this person, or wish harm on this person? It is all a matter of how we classify others and place them into particular categories.
There are two major forms of "true" kinship: biological kinship where a given classification is grounded in shared genes or family heredity, and psychological kinship where a target individual is classified "as family" in the absence family heredity. In both instances individuals are included in the "family" matrix and are basically treated as family. In theory, the strongest form of biological kinship is between a mother and her child and the strongest forms of psychological kinship are between adoptive parents and their children and between husband and wife in the marriage bond.
MOTHER-INFANT ATTACHMENT AND KINSHIP
Before and immediately following birth the mother is "kin" with the infant, but it has no kinship with her. The mother is aware of her basic and deep natural relationship with the infant, and she also chooses to “classify” the infant as-kin; by contrast, the infant is unaware of its genetic relationship with the mother, for its recognition and classification mechanisms have not yet been activated. It is during the critical period of attachment that the infant's kin recognition mechanism is progressively activated, and it is able to distinguish between itself and the mother or mothering one.
The mothering one is, thus, ultimately classified as the infant's most primal biological kin, and all others are implicitly consigned to the out-group. Gradually, the infant and young child is able to make more refined social distinctions including those between mother and other biological kin, between kin and nonkin, and between various socially and culturally defined categories.
Given the vast imbalance in social power between mother and infant (see Bailey, 1999), activation of the mother's KIN-RECOGNITION AND CLASSIFICATION MECHANISMS is of great adaptive significance. Whereas the infant can only appeal to the mother with a pleasant, warm response or a loud, unpleasant protest, the mother literally has the power of life and death over the infant. Indeed, infanticide has probably always played a significant adaptive role in hominid and human history as it has in most other mammalian and primate species.
Human infants at highest risk of infanticide include those that appear defective at birth, those of young as opposed to older mothers, those of unwed or otherwise paternally unsupported mothers, those that are younger rather than older in the sibling hierarchy, and those reared by step-parents or other substitute parents (Daly & Wilson, 1988). Kinship and mother love is nature's way of binding the mother to the dependent infant, and helping assure that the mother will behave "altruistically" toward her offspring rather than violently.
THE MOTHER-INFANT KINSHIP IS THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL KINSHIPS, WHEREAS THE INFANT'S KINSHIP WITH THE MOTHER IS NONEXISTENT AT THE OUTSET. It may be 6 months or so before the infant can reliably distinguish the mother from others (e. g., differential smiling and crying). The infant attaches to the mother but experiences no kinship, whereas the mother both attaches and experiences kinship. Thus, kinship between mother and infant is highly imbalanced, with the mother assuming all of the obligations and receiving few benefits in turn, whereas the infant receives virtually all of the benefits of the relationship but incurs none of the costs
(Bailey, 1999).
THE COMPLEXITIES OF KINSHIP
Little Leo shown is a product of his Korean mother and his Caucasian-American father who both share
biological kinship with him. The father's parents (grandparents) are also biological kin since they meet
the defining criteria of genetic relationship and classification of Leo "as kin."
However, the maternal grandparents can only share psychological kinship with him due to absence of
genetic linkage. Given that the defining quality of kinships is premised on the amount of love given and
received, psychological kinship is often equal to and may supercede biological kinship.
The kinship dynamics of given families may be quite complex. This photo includes my nephew
Brian (biological kin), and my psychological kin niece Marti and grand niece Natalie and grand
nephew Julian. These children were born by a process embryo donation whereby frozen embryos
are contributed by donors and inplanted in the host mother who carries the fetus or fetuses to term.
This a difficult and expensive process, but, when successful, the rewards are great for childless couples.
Brian and Marti are not genetically related to Natalie and Julian, so the parent-child and child-parent
relationships are that of psychological kinship. In this instance, however, they developed a friendly and
open relationship with the donor couple who have met and interacted with the children. This represents
a relatively rare instance where the donor couple qualify as biological kin in terms of both genetic linkage
and opportunity for classification.
The kinship scenario here is much like that of traditional adoption- there is no genetic linkage
involved between the adoptive parents and their biological relatives and the adoptees. However, in this
particular case the adoptees themselves are biological kin with each other, viz, sister and brother.
COSTS AND BENEFITS OF KINSHIP
Like most aspects of human social behavior, KINSHIP REVOLVES AROUND EXCHANGE PROCESSES AND RECIPROCITY. Once a person is classified "as kin", he or she enters into a WEB OF OBLIGATION AND ENTITLEMENT that remains in effect for the duration of the kinship (Bailey, 1999; Bailey & Wood, 1998). However, cost:benefit dynamics in a given kinship may vary widely over developmental time, as with the mother who assumes all of the obligations and little or no proximal benefits relative to her infant, but who may derive extensive benefits in the form of care and support from the kids in her old age. Kinship prerogatives are powerful in their own right, but in modern societies natural obligations and entitlements are also often augmented by legal mandates in such areas as child care, marriage, divorce, intestacy, and so on.
The obligation\benefit dynamics of particular kinships are very complex- especially over extended time periods- and they resonate with developmental stages, gender, personality, ethnicity, cultural background, social status, education, and a host of other variables. Perhaps the most important distinction, however, is whether a given kinship is BALANCED or IMBALANCED in its cost:benefit configuration at a given time (Bailey, 1999).
A balanced configuration is one where the interactants "give" and "receive" in a manner considered mutually equitable, whereas an imbalanced one involves excess "giving" on one person's part and excess "receiving" for the other. Although giving and receiving are complex processes, we believe that cost:benefits balances and imbalances are discernable to the careful observer such as the social psychologist or psychotherapist.
We theorize that kinships that are both STRONG AND BALANCED are the most personally satisfying, fulfilling, and conducive to good physical and psychological health (Bailey, 1999). A "strong" kinship is one that is high in positive emotionality, provision of behavioral/material resources, and cognitive commitment to the other (e. g., firm and reliable classification). By contrast, when kinships are balanced but "weak" in emotionality, helpful actions, and/or commitment, then health benefits will be weak or absent.
Strong kinships characterize close, committed biological and psychological kin (as between parents and children or between marital partners), whereas weak ones characterize, for example, distant cousins or old college friends who are classified as-kin and as-family, but they do not play significant roles in one's daily life.
Imbalanced kin relations are the most interesting and problematic theoretically and clinically. An imbalanced relationship occurs when one interactant is strongly committed to the kinship and the other is not; nevertheless, the kinship persists due to the efforts and sacrifice of the more committed party. Said another way, one interactant is committed, giving, and yields to the various explicit and implicit obligations imposed, whereas the other simply exploits the benefits with minimal effort or cost. One interactant may also "cheat" by appearing to be a "balanced giver," when he or she is really a "manipulative taker."
Imbalanced kinships may be very important to the giving party's psychological economy, but they tend to produce internal conflict and disharmony. Moreover, SUCH IMBALANCES ARE LIKELY TO PLACE THE GIVER AT RISK FOR BOTH PHYSICAL DISEASE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS (see Bailey, 1999; Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Anxiety, depression, psychophysiological disorders, and various other "inhibition disorders" (Bailey, 1997) are likely for the giver who may stagger under the weight of his or her “unequal” kinship obligations and demands. The receiving party in the imbalanced dyad may suffer little or no conflict, and he or she may actually enjoy better physical and psychological health than would be the case if the giver's resources were not available.
Clinically, the therapist should be especially sensitive to the stresses and conflicts suffered by the giving party in strong but unbalanced kinship relationships. This all goes to show that the COSTS AND OBLIGATIONS OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE FAR MORE CENTRAL TO KINSHIP than are the various emotional, behavioral, and cognitive BENEFITS. Anyone will readily accept benefits that do not carry costs, but the person who stands by you and gives his or her all when you give little or nothing in return virtually defines kinship. In kinship, it truly is more blessed to give than to receive.
As with all human social relations, the various kinship obligations and entitlements have emotional, behavioral, and cognitive components. For example, kinship obligations involve the direction of positive feelings ("warmth"), altruistic actions (including material support), and loving thoughts and attributions toward the object. Likewise, entitlements or benefits involve the receipt of these same qualities.
Any given kinship relationship may be characterized by the manner in which the interactants provide and receive tangible and intangible benefits. Thus, benefits are the resources that are exchanged in the kinship, and obligations reflect the various presses to provide benefits in some mutually acceptable manner. Obligations may sometimes provide "benefits" for especially nurturing people, but they more typically play the role of "costs" in the kinship scenario.
KINSHIP CLASSIFICATION
Classification is the defining element of true kinship. No amount of emotion or giving can define kinship if the classification aspect is absent. A person may be cold, distant, and ungiving, but if he or she truly classifies the other as kin, kinship exists. Classification is the only necessary condition for the establishment of kinship. Kinship is thus a cognitive DECISION to include another individual in the family array.
As the following theoretical continuum shows, there are only two forms of actual or “true” kinship: BIOLOGICAL KINSHIP refers to “genetic relationship plus classification as kin” and psychological kinship refers to “classification as kin in the absence of genetic relationship.” All other real or imagined relationships fall into the non-kin categories KIN-LIKE, RECIPROCAL, OR HOSTILE interaction.
A KINSHIP CONTINUUM
Kinship Relations Non-kin Relations
BIOLOGICAL KIN->PSYCHOLOGICAL KIN | KIN-LIKE RELATIONS->RECIPROCITY->HOSTILITY
Biological kinship and psychological kinship are "real" kin relations, but
considerable empirical research is needed to determine how biological and
psychological kin differ in their patterning of benefits/obligations and the
emotive, behavioral, and cognitive components. Biological and psychological
kinship interactions probably accounted for most within-group hominid and
early human social behavior in ancestral evolutionary environments, and
only later were extensions of kin-like behavior and development of reciprocal
economic strategies needed to cope with increasing exposure to strangers and
out-group individuals (Bailey & Wood, 1993).
Kin-like relations are warm and pleasurable, but classification "as kin" is not
involved and there is no implication of permanence, benefits, or obligations
(see Bailey, 1999; Bailey & Wood, 1998). Friendly interaction between a
salesperson and customer, a brief romantic affair, helper-helpee interactions
in disasters, or a pleasant round of golf with strangers exemplify kin-like
relations. Such relations are "nice" and the persons who characteristically
engage in them are "nice".
In modern multi-racial and multi-ethnic industrial countries where the nuclear family consists of two parents and offspring at best (van den Berghe, 1979), interactions between persons of widely differing backgounds are increasingly common. In the United States, where population diversity is unmatched and most Americans are employed in some aspect of human services, generalizing “nice” kin-like behaviors to brief acquaintances is a valued skill.
Reciprocal exchange relations typically occur between
acquaintances/strangers and are materially based, but
interactants may choose to employ kin-like behavior in
effecting their business ends. The ends, however, remain
the driving forces of the interactional process. As pointed
out by sociobiologists (Trivers, 1971; van den Berghe,1980),
unrelated individuals also help each other in the context of
quid pro quo relations or reciprocal altruism.
Such relations, however, draw less from naturally rewarding, kin-mediating structures in the brain (MacLean, 1986) than from a more general desire to acquire material or social resources. Pleasant interaction with kin is inherently enjoyable and "sweet", to use Barash's term (1979), whereas reciprocity between nonkin is rules-governed and maintained by induction of guilt, social ostracism, and other forms of punishment for cheaters or freeloaders (McGuire, et al, 1992).
At the extreme non-kin pole, relations are between antagonistic outsiders who may tolerate each other for exchange purposes, or they may engage in internecine hostilities including murder, warfare, or genocide. Hostility, aggression, and violence toward strangers and historically antagonistic familiars have a long evolutionary history (Bailey, 1987; Diamond, 1992) that may go back to the common primate ancestor for humans and other primates (Wrangham, 1987
The Kinship Model and Mismatch Theory (Bailey, 1995; 1999) are complementary. Mismatch Theory argues that human beings evolved in fairly isolated bands of 25-50 closely related individuals (biological kin and a few psychological kin) existing in some variation of the hunting and gathering pattern of social organization. Social interaction with "outsiders" was infrequent and the "stranger" was typically hated or feared. Today, we encounter far more strangers in one day than our ancestors did in a life time. How we modern humans deal with the mismatch "stranger problem" is crucial to our personal happiness, health, and social success (Ahern & Bailey, 1997).
KINSHIP, PATHOLOGY, AND HEALTH
Evidence from multiple sources in evolutionary psychology, health psychology, psychiatry, and medicine support the proposition that warm and satisfying social relations have wide-ranging physical and psychological health benefits. A review of the supporting literature is beyond the scope of this paper, but the reader may consult Bailey, 1999; Bailey, Wood, & Nava, 1992; Baumeister & Leary, 1995; Bowlby, 1988.
Hedonically-toned kinship relations tend to be reasonably balanced and strong; that is, each person's obligations and benefits are pretty much in line with the other, and kinship is expressed in all channels (emotive, behavioral, and cognitive). The emotive component is probably most important in determining how satisfying a given kinship may be, but giving behavior and awareness that you are considered family and kin are satisfying as well at the cognitive level.
Weak and/or highly imbalanced relations tend to be unsatisfying, and psychological kinship theory postulates that kinship deprivations, conflicts, and imbalances are at the heart of both physical and psychological pathology (Bailey, 1999). Loneliness, alienation, ostracism, and rejection are most damaging to health, but imbalanced kinship relations (as with burdened mothers or Alzheimer's caregivers) put persons at health risk as well. Recognizing these kinship anomalies and devising methods to deal with them goes to the heart of professional helping and kinship psychotherapy.
KINSHIP THERAPY
The KINSHIP MODEL OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TREATMENT (Bailey, 1988, 1999; Bailey, Wood, & Nava, 1992; Bailey & Wood, 1998) postulates that hurting persons are inclined to employ natural kinship strategies in seeking social support from others, including support seeking toward both nonprofessional and professional helpers. That is, when we are under stress we gravitate toward potential support persons and often treat them “as kin” irrespective of actual blood relationship. It appears adaptive and conducive to survival to "manufacture kin" in this way (Ahern & Bailey, 1997).
Early on Bailey (1988) distinguished two basic forms of kinship classification that play major roles in therapy process: biological kinship pertaining to blood kin, and psychological kinship which refers to "as if family" relationships among genetically unrelated individuals. Of course, clients who are genetically unrelated to the therapist can never be biological kin, but they could, in theory, enjoy some form of psychological kinship with the therapist. Indeed, clients under severe stress often “want” deep and intimate “kinship” relations with the therapist, and it is natural for them to do so (Bailey, Wood, & Nava, 1992).
Seeking help from kin and tribe when under stress appears built into the hardware and software of the human brain. I believe that this natural tendency to manufacture kin readily transfers to and spills over into the process of therapy. However, there are many ethical and practical problems in developing kinships with patients, and Wood (1997) recommends that the client-therapist relationship stay more within the kin-like zone of interaction rather than actual kinship. Kin-like relations involve warmth, liking, and affection, but in the absence of kinship classification with its panoply of formalized obligations and entitlements.
The general goal of kinship therapy (Bailey, 1997, 1999) is to conceptualize a particular case in terms of patterns biosocial goal-seeking, kinship deprivations, disruptions, and balances/imbalances, and then to design interventions that aid the client in meeting and/or reconciling species and cultural demands in a manner that optimizes personal happiness and adjustment (Bailey, 1997). Specifically, evolutionary kinship therapy emphasizes any and all means of encouraging healthy expressions of natural sociality whether in the therapy encounter itself or in the broader contexts of family and community. Empirical evidence is unequivocal that such expressions are conducive to positive physical and mental health, and overall quality of life (Bailey, 1999).
Numerous assumptions and hypotheses regarding professional helping, counseling, and psychotherapy may be derived from the kinship model and kinship psychology:
1. Given our evolutionary history (Bailey, 1987), we humans are naturally inclined to extend kinship beyond its biological boundaries to include significant others as if they were kin (psychological kinship).
2. Such psychological kinships often extend beyond genetically unrelated friends and marital partners, and may include anyone (even beloved pets) that are perceived as "family."
3. The tendency to form psychological kinships is greatly augmented by STRESS, particularly SURVIVAL STRESS (Bailey 1987, 1988).
4. Since physically ill or emotionally disturbed persons are often under severe "survival stress", the nonprofessional or professional agents helping them are likely candidates for incorporation into their kinship system.
5. Nonprofessional helpers tend to rely primarily on "natural helping strategies" and they often form psychological kinships with their helpees very easily and effectively.
6. Professional helpers (e. g., psychiatrists, physicians, clinical psychologists) tend to rely more on technical skill and stylized rules of interaction in treatment (rather than upon natural helping strategies), and therefore are less inclined toward forming psychological kinships with their clients.
7. Many clients, especially those under severe stress, “want” a psychological kinship with their helping agent, whether or not the agent encourages such kinship (Bailey, Wood, & Nava, 1992).
8. The desired psychological kinship with the helping agent is not a transference in the Freudian sense, but represents a real need for intimacy with a "loved one." It is more a phylogenetic transference where a hurting member of species Homo sapiens reaches out to another member for support and provision of resources (see Bailey, 1999).
9. There is a tendency for professional helping agents to underestimate his/her client's desire for “kinship” in the treatment relationship.
10. Even though a client may “want” a true psychological kinship with the therapist, it is generally prudent to stay within the kin-like zone of interaction in the client-therapist relationship (Bailey & Wood, 1998; Wood, 1997).
11. Much psychopathology emanates from real/perceived imbalances, deprivations and conflicts in the kinship areas of life (Bailey & Wood, 1998). The primary goal of Kinship Therapy is to help the client maintain healthy kinship relations within his/her social support system (Bailey, 1999).
Kinship References
Ahern, S., & Bailey, K. G. (1997). Families-by-choice: Finding family in a world of strangers. Minneapolis, MN: Fairview Press.
Bailey, K. G. (1987). Human paleopsychology: Applications to aggression and pathological processes. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Bailey, K. G. (1988). Psychological kinship: Implications for the helping professions. Psychotherapy, 25, 132-142.
Bailey, K. G. (1994). Our kind-their kind: Response to Gardner's we-they distinction. ASCAP Newsletter, 7, 5-7.
Bailey, K. G. (1997). Evolutionary kinship therapy: Merging integrative psychotherapy with the new kinship psychology. Presidential address at the annual ASCAP meeting in Tucson, AZ.
Bailey, K. G. (1999). Evolution, kinship, and psychotherapy: Promoting Psychological Health Through Human Relationships. In P. Gilbert & K. G. Bailey (Eds.), Genes on the couch: Explorations of evolutionary psychotherapy. Hove: Psychology Press (Guilford).
Bailey, K. G., & Wood, H.E. (1993). Basic principles of psychological kinship theory. ASCAP Newsletter, 6(Nov), 7-10.
Bailey, K. G., & Wood, H. E. (1998). Evolutionary kinship therapy: Basic principles and treatment implications. British Journal of Medical Psychology, 71, 509-524..
Bailey, K. G., Wood, H. E., & Nava, G. R. (1992). What do clients want? Role of psychological kinship in professional helping. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 2, 125-147.
Bailey, K.G. & Wood, H. E. (1993). Psychological kinship theory: Social behavior and clinical practice. Presented Human Behavior and Evolution Society meeting, Binghampton, New York.
Bailey, R. C., & Czuchry, M. (1994). Psychological kinship fulfillment and dating attraction. Social Behavior and Personality, in press.
Beverly, W. (1997). Psychological kinship: A construct for operationalization of relationships in eco-systems. Unpublished manuscript, VCU Social Work department.
Gilbert, P., & Bailey, K. G. (Eds.). (1999). Genes on the couch: Explorations in evolutionary psychotherapy. Hove: Psychology Press.
Lewis, D. (1995). Psychological kinship and the self-concept: Differential expressions in African American and White women. Unpublished manuscript, VCU, Richmond.
Lewis, D. (1998). Kinship, self-concept, and self-identity: Roles in racial identity, spirituality, and psychopathology in African-American and Caucasian-American Women. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Virginia Commonwealth University.
Nava, G. R., & Bailey, K. G. (1991). Measuring psychological kinship: Interrelationships in a population of psychiatric nurses. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, VCU, Richmond.
Patti, A. M. (1994). Psychological kinship, social support, and stress: Interrelationships in a population of psychiatric nurses. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Virginia Commonwealth University.
Wood, H. E. (1995). The construct of psychological kinship: Roles of familial love, classification, and support. Unpublished Master's thesis, Virginia Commonwealth University, Richmond.
Wood, H. E. (1997). Staying in the therapy zone: Kinship and the art of therapeutic process. Paper presented at annual ASCAP meeting, Tucson, AZ.
Woods, J. L. (1997). An evolutionary approach to bulimia nervosa. Unpublished Master's thesis, Virginia Commonwealth University.
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